2. Your daughter and her friends have made a mess in the playroom and now want to go out to play. You;
    A. Let them go out and clean up the mess.
    B. Tell the friends to go home and make your daughter clean up the mess alone.
    C. Explain they can go out after the room is cleaned up, then help them clean up.

3. You find out your teen son has been visiting pornographic sites on the internet. You;
    A. Say nothing because he is just being a normal teen boy.
    B. Remove the internet connection on the computer and yell at your son for making you remove the connection.
    C. Tell your son what you know, discuss the negative consequences of viewing porn and work on a plan to help him stop
        viewing porn.

4. It is bedtime and your daughter wants to sleep with you because she is afraid of the dark. You;
    A. Let her sleep wherever she is comfortable.
    B. Tell her to grow up and get in bed immediately.
    C. Comfort her, take her to her bed and let her know you will check up on her later.

5. Your son threatens to throw a tantrum if you don’t buy him a candy bar at the checkout. You;
    A. Buy him the candy bar.
    B. Threaten to lose your temper if he acts out.
    C. Tell him no, explaining that you will give him a special treat at another time.

6. Your kids are making so much noise you can’t watch your TV show. You;
    A. Wish they would stop.
    B. Yell at them and turn up the television.
    C. Go over to your children, firmly ask them to quite down so that you can watch the program.

7. Your son hasn’t done his chores. You;
    A. Do them yourself to avoid another conflict.
    B. Force him to do them immediately.
    C. Remind him that his privileges are taken away until the chores are satisfactorily completed.

8. Your daughter wants to stay up past her bedtime to MSN on the computer. You;
    A. Let her stay up.
    B. Tell her to go to bed – NOW!
    C. Recognize that it is nice to chat with her buddies but tell her, it is bedtime and she needs to log off.

9. Your son talks back. You;
    A. Walk away, fuming.
    B. Wash his mouth out with soap.
    C. Tell him he is disrespectful and give him a timeout.

10. The main goal of parenting is to;
    A. Raise children that are happy.
    B. Raise children that are obedient and respect your authority.
    C. Raise children that respect themselves and others and know how to make moral choices.

Answer Key:

 If the majority of your answers are A – you are most likely a permissive parent. This means you demand very little from your children. Children raised by permissive parents tend to be immature, manipulative, and selfish.

If the majority of your answers are B – you are most likely an authoritarian parent. This means you attempt to control your child’s behavior relying on punishment like spanking or other physical measures. Children raised by authoritarian parents tend to be withdrawn, unmotivated and unsure.

If the majority of your answers are C – you are most likely an authoritative parent. This means that you recognize that both you and your child have rights and needs that need to be balanced. You are most likely to direct your child through rules and clear explanations. Children raised by authoritative parents tend to be assertive, cooperative and friendly.

Why does authoritative parenting provide the best child outcomes?

• When a child perceives his parents as reasonable and fair, they are more likely to do what they are asked.
  
• When a child’s parents provide sound reasons and explanations the child is more likely to internalize what is right and focus on what is right and good.
  
• When a child is listened to by her parents, she develops a stronger sense of self-worth and self-respect.
  

How can you become a more authoritative parent?

1. Tell your children that you love them daily.
   
2. Listen to your children. Hear what they say – even if you don’t agree with what they say.
   
3. Practice what you preach. Walk the walk you expect your children to walk. Be the primary educator for your children.
   
4. Accept the unique temperament of each child and work with it rather than against it.
   
5. Understand that a child’s abilities and limitations change as they grow and mature.
   
6. Know the difference between behaviors that are single events and those that show a pattern. Discipline accordingly.

Which Style of Parent Are You?